Stay With Me
by radbananas
Summary: AU; Bellamy and Clarke have been best friends for awhile now, but nothing more. When Bellamy's pushy sister Octavia hints at something more, things change. Slow burn, enjoy the suffering.
1. The Awakening

He stares at the reflection in the mirror for what feels like forever. Staring at every flaw. He hates his freckles, they remind him of her. _Her. Mom_. The word is foreign. It's been years 5 years since he last said it out loud.

The memory is clear in his mind. He's sitting at the table, all smiles as him and his little sister Octavia eat breakfast. Their mom says something, and he doesn't hear it but he replies lazily.

"Okay, mom."

Who knew that would be the last thing he got to say to her. That's life for you though. Cruel, and unmerciful.

A knock on the door pulls him from his thoughts, and he turns opening the door to find Octavia.

"Bell, its 4am are you okay?"

He turns the bathroom light off, pushing past her. Mumbling a response. "I'm fine, was just a dream. Go back to bed O."

He can feel her eyes on him until he reaches his room. Slowly his eyes grow heavy again, and he drifts into a deep sleep. Not a good one, one filled with horrible images. Of everything he's scared of in life.

The next time he opened his eyes he let out a groan as he looks at the clock that reads 4:04am, knowing there's no use in trying to sleep again, nightmares will undoubtedly wake him again he peels himself from the bed and quietly walks to the kitchen.

What he finds, surprises him. A blonde head faced towards the stove, flipping pancakes, her hips swaying to the soft music playing from her phone. When he cleared his throat he couldn't help but let out a chuckle when she jumped and turned towards him, her face bright red.

"Uh, Hi Bellamy. Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, couldn't sleep to begin with." He mumbled in reply.

She nodded, and opened her mouth and for a second he thinks she might say more, but she shyly turns back to the stove.

"Do you want some?" she asks over her shoulder.

He's about to tell her yes, when his phones goes off. Groaning inwardly he pulls his phone from his pocket.

 _From: Harper_

 _Hey, I just got off work, and I don't want to sleep quite yet, can I come over?_

Without thinking he quickly replies. "Yes."

When he pulls his eyes from his phone, they're met with two bright blue ones staring into his. His brows furrow as his heartbeat picks up.

"I asked you a question, Bell."

 _Oh right._ "Nah, I don't want any. I have someone coming over."

She scoffs, turning back to the stove.

"Hey this is my apartment, if you have a problem with who I bring over then you're more than welcome to leave."

She turns to him. If looks could kill, he'd be dead. He finds himself biting his lip, as she huffs a breath of frustration. Out of seemingly nowhere Octavia walks to Clarke's side, smiling brightly at her brother.

"This is my apartment too, and Clarke has no problem with whoever you decide to bring here. Right Clarke?" she says nudging her friend in the ribs.

Clarke forcefully nodded, before moving to the table.

"Well, you guys should know its Harper."

Both of their mouths dropped in awe, and he merely shrugged.

"When? How? What?"

"I don't know, just happened. We've both been working the same shifts at Arcadia and we were bored. It's only happened a couple of times. Don't make it a thing, O."

"Do you like her at all?" Octavia questioned him, narrowing her eyes at her older brother.

"I mean clearly enough to have sex with her, but nothing more I bet. Right, Bellamy?" Clarke says quietly into her mug of coffee.

He was about to reply when a soft knock on the door ended their conversation. He sighed to himself as he walks to the door pulling it open to reveal Harper. The grin on her face disappeared some when she looked into the apartment. His eyes follow hers, directly to the back of Clarke's head.

"So are you going to let me in?" annoyance clear in her voice.

Slowly he stepped aside, allowing her past him, she walked directly to his room and with nothing more to say to O and Clarke, he followed but not before glancing once more at Clarke before closing his door.

* * *

An hour later he stares at his bedroom ceiling, his stomach growling causing him to curse. Harper stirs in the bed next to him, and he momentarily regrets letting her come over. Or at least for letting her sleep here. As quietly as possible, he crawls out from his bed, carrying a pillow. As he reaches the couch, he freezes as he sees her blonde hair sprawled out on the couch.

 _She's beautiful. Beautiful? That's your little sister's best friend._ Her eyes opened, startling him and causing his face to become heated on the tops of his cheeks.

"Sorry, I-uh. Harper is in my room, so I can't sleep."

She rolled her eyes before sitting up, patting next to her. Hesitantly he sits next to her, and feels his heart race as she leans into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're a real asshole sometimes, Bell." She whispered sleepily.

Instead of replying, he rests his head against hers, and closed his eyes.

* * *

He stretches the sleep from his body, and slowly picks his head up. When he looks to his side he becomes slightly confused when he finds nobody there.

A voice from the kitchen startles him. "She went to school. Also, Harper said you're an asshole and to never text her again."

He looked as Octavia walked into the living room handing him a cup of coffee, taking a small sip from her own cup.

"Did she happen to say why?"

Octavia laughs loudly shaking her head. "She didn't have to Bell. I saw it too."

His brows furrowed again and he looks at her questioningly.

"The way you and Clarke were all snuggled up. I'd be pissed too. You left her in your room after you slept with her, and then of all things you went to cuddle with someone who you clearly have feelings for."

His heart rate picked up yet at Octavia's words. _Have feelings for Clarke? Not even close._

"You know me, I don't catch feelings." He replied sternly.

"Yeah, you don't catch feelings for girls you sleep with then only talk to again when you want to get laid. You haven't slept with Clarke. You see her almost every day. It's so obvious."

"You're crazy." He mumbled as he pulled himself off the couch, stomping off to the bathroom stripping himself of his clothes before stepping under the cold water, welcoming it.


	2. The Fall

_I was planning on waiting a week to post another chapter but the positive feedback has inspired me to write a bunch, so here's another chapter! Enjoy :)_

When Clarke had woken up she had found herself laid on top of Bellamy, she was about to jump off of him when she had looked up at him, and felt her heart beating loudly in her chest. Involuntarily her lips had parted as she drew in a sharp breath taking in the image of him before her. His lips too were parted just barely showing his perfect white teeth. A cluster of endless freckles across his cheek. Lastly she looked at his lashes, lashes people would kill for. They were long and dark, _beautiful._ What part of Bellamy wasn't beautiful?

Thinking back, there was a time when she had despised Bellamy but even then she could have admitted that he was breathtakingly handsome, she remembered even when they were mid argument her hand twitched and ached so badly to pull out her sketch pad and freeze him exactly as he was, scowl an all because even then he was captivating.

A door opening pulled her back to reality, and in a moment of panic she laid her head back down and pretended to be asleep. Slowly she opened her eyes, just enough to be able to see who was walking past, but not enough for them to know she was awake. The person froze upon seeing them on the couch.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" A sharp voice rang out. _Harper._

Clarke winced as Bellamy stirred beneath her, only to pull her tighter against him before settling once again. Another voice joined in.

"Please don't wake them up." Octavia whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Bellamy's never gone through the night without nightmares." O said, in a voice of awe.

Clarke felt a small tug at her heart, she knew that of course what Octavia was saying was true. She's been friends with her for almost 3 years now, and she's slept over hundreds of times. She's heard the telltale thrashing and yelling from Bellamy's room every single night.

She heard a scoff from Harper before she replied. "Whatever, tell Bellamy he's an asshole and to never text me again."

The slam of the front door caused her to jump but to her surprise Bellamy didn't move beneath her at all. Slowly she sat up and she was eye to eye with Octavia, she felt relief flood through her as O looked at her, not with anger but with a _smirk?_ Clarke slowly disentangled herself from Bellamy's grip as Octavia retreated to her room Clarke quickly following.

"What happened between you guys last night?" O asked, not accusingly but curiously as she quietly shut the door.

"Nothing really, he couldn't sleep because Harper was in the room and I was already on the couch. We fell asleep with our heads leaning together I don't really know how we ended up like, well _that._

Octavia seemed to be looking around the room at anything but Clarke. After a few minutes of silence, finally her eyes met Clarke's.

"You know if something did happen between you guys I wouldn't care, right? In fact I almost encourage it." She said, almost shyly.

Clarke felt her lips part and tried to keep her breathing even. "Nothing like _that_ would ever happen, we're just good friends." she replied almost too quickly.

"Anyways, I have art class today so I need to go back to my place and get showered and ready. Love you."

* * *

The bell rang alerting the room that class was over. Picking up her phone she glanced down to check the time. _3:00pm already_? Most of the class was a blur to her, her mind kept going back to the conversation with Octavia. _I'd even encourage it._ Clarke had never thought about Bellamy that way. They were enemies, and then when Clarke had lost her best friend Wells they had become close, best friends even. Bellamy had understood loss and that had brought them together.

Pulling her sketchpad tightly to chest Clarke started her walk from the campus back to her small apartment where she found her roommate Raven sitting on the couch struggling to get up. Clarke threw her books and sketchpad down, rushing forward to help Raven only to have her hands smacked away.

"I don't need your help, Griffin."

Clarke felt herself tense. "Raven, you do. When is the last time you saw my mom?"

"I don't need her help either."

Before she could reply, Raven limped her way into her room yelling that she'd be going out with Jasper later today and not to wait up. Clarke wanted so badly to help Raven and Jasper, they'd both lost so much in the accident.

There freshmen year of college Raven, Jasper, Wells and his girlfriend Maya were driving home from the library after a long night of studying when a drunk driver blew a red light and hit them, killing Maya and Wells instantly and leaving Raven with nerve damage, causing her to lose feeling and the ability to move one leg.

Since then Raven and Jasper had gone downhill. Raven refusing to see any doctor's and Jasper drinking himself to sleep at night. Between Clarke, Octavia, Bellamy, Monty, Nathan and even Murphy they'd tried everything they could think of to get through to them and back to somewhat normal, but it'd been almost 2 years and they all had grieved and moved on. Everyone except Jasper and Raven. Eventually they'd let Raven and Jasper do what they'd wanted as much as it hurt.

A chime from her phone pulled Clarke from deep inside her own mind back to reality. Opening her phone she felt her heart skip a beat as she read who the text was from.

From: Bellamy

Hey are you coming over tonight? Probably going to pop some popcorn and rent a movie on demand. Octavia is staying over at Lincolns tonight so you can sleep in her room.

Clarke was suddenly very aware of how hard her heart was beating and cursed herself in her mind, she did not feel _that_ way about Bellamy Blake, he was one of her best friends and that was it. Plus even if she did there was no way he could possibly feel the same way. Bellamy was a player in all honesty and everyone knew that. Hell, he even admitted it to her. Slowly she let out a sigh and began typing a reply.

"Sure, I'll grab the ice cream."

* * *

Clarke looked down at the clock next to her bed, 8:00pm exactly. Quickly she grabbed her bag off of her desk and left her room closing the door. As she started her walk to Bellamy's apartment she looked down at her attire. She'd pulled on a pair of shorts, that were shorter than she had anticipated and a black tank top that clung to her small frame. Before she had time to stress about how short they were, she'd looked up and found herself at Bellamy's door. Usually she'd walk right in and go directly to Octavia's room but since she's not here Clarke felt it was appropriate to actually knock. Tucking her hair behind her ears before she moved her hand to the door and gently knocked.

She heard footsteps and when Bellamy pulled the door open he gave a look of surprise, she felt disappointment sinking into her body. _He totally forgot he even invited you over he probably has some girl coming over, and why did you ever even hope for a second that-_

"Why did you knock? Couldn't open the door yourself, Princess?" he said with a wink.

She lightly hit his chest and pushed past him relief settling in. The smell of buttery popcorn filled her nose and she heard herself let out a quiet content sigh.

"Sit down, the popcorn is done and the movie is ready."

"Oh here." Clarke let out, moving and opening her bag handing him the vanilla ice cream.

Bellamy gave her a small smile as he took the ice cream from her hands and walked back into the kitchen. Sitting herself down in the middle of the couch she pulled the blanket from behind her laying it on her lap just as Bellamy reappeared holding a bowl of popcorn and two root beer floats in hand, she felt herself grin as she reached out a hand to take one of them from him, immediately taking a small sip from it.

Bellamy chuckled, a deep throaty laugh she noted as she pulled the cup away from her face. Out of what Clarke guessed as an instinct, Bellamy pressed his thumb to her upper lip slowly sliding it across, wiping away the foam that had been there a second before. Finally he sat down next to her, before starting the movie he had looked at her lips.

"Stop biting your lip." He murmured.

She'd felt her face heat up at his words and before she could respond he had hit the play button on the remote.

Clarke couldn't remember at what point she had laid down, and Bellamy had laid against her resting his head just under her ribs or when he had slid under the covers as well, but she became very aware when her shirt had ridden up and he had moved his to her uncovered skin, resting it there as they continued to watch the movie. Trying to stay focused on the movie that had just reached its climax was near impossible. Cursing herself as her breath picked up. _Get a hold of yourself you've laid like this with him a bunch of times._

But has she? _Like this?_ With Octavia's words swimming in her head, it no longer felt as innocent as she had once imagined.

Just as she calmed her breathing the movie's ending credits had come up and she felt Bellamy tuck himself closer against her. Looking down at him she saw his feet hanging off the couch and instinctively moved over, patting behind her. Bellamy's eyes met hers and they shined so brightly in the dim lighting, suddenly she'd forgotten how to swallow, how to breathe, how to speak.

Bellamy's eyes traveled down her face stopping on her plump pink lips, and before she could take in a breath there lips collided and her world stopped. Time stopped. _So soft,_ her mind repeated over and over, and then she felt his tongue slide past her lips and she exploded into a million different pieces as their tongues touched. _So sweet, so incredib-_

A loud bang on the door abruptly ended the fireworks that were going off in her head. Bellamy achingly slowly pulled away from her lips his eyes hooded. As he got up from the couch, she pushed her fingers to her lips, which were already missing his.

Bellamy yanked the door open, annoyance clear. "Who is it and what the fuck do you want-"His words were cut off as Harper pushed past him, not noticing Clarke, she began yelling.

"When your girlfriend say's don't text or call, she means you need to text or call!"

Clarke heard herself gasp as the word girlfriend left her mouth, and Harper's head whipped towards her.

"BELLAMY BLAKE, YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME?"

Bellamy started at Harper with his brows furrowed. "What no-"

Before he could get out anymore Clarke grabbed her bag, swinging it over her shoulder and running out of the apartment, vaguely aware of someone calling her name behind her. Everything became blurry as she kept running. _You're cheating on me?_ The words rung loud in her mind, taking her back to when she sat on Finn's lap in a deep kiss when the door flew open and Raven stepped in, asking him the same question over and over.

Clarke found herself outside of Arcadia and barged through the door heading straight towards the bar, sitting on the bar stool she slammed her hand down, Murphy approached her warily.

"Jack on the rocks please." She said with a forced smile.

She felt a large hand on her hip and an unfamiliar voice in her ear. "Can I buy that for you miss?"

Slowly she turned giving a look of what she hoped was an innocent and dumb kind of look, the guy was surely hoping for. "Why thank you." She said as the stranger sat on the stool next to her, placing his hand on her lower back.


	3. The Disappearance

_Thank you so much for all the nice reviews! I was going to post this chapter last night but after what happened, out of respect for all Clexa shippers I decided to wait._

Bellamy laid on his bed staring into the black nothing surrounding him, wishing that sleep would come and that it would be peaceful. Knowing that after a fight with someone he truly cared about that it would be near impossible.

A loud ring coming from his pocket startled him, moving to pull his phone from his pocket hoping with all of his being that it was _her_ , he let out a loudsigh as he read the name before reluctantly answering it.

"What is it, Murphy?"

"Dude, you have to get down to Arcadia. Clarke is mad drunk and some creep has been on her like white on rice since she got here.

Bellamy was aware of his heart beginning to pound louder in his chest as he sat up, clearing his throat.

"Okay, I'll be down there in five. I couldn't sleep anyways, Harper and I kind of had a fight." Bellamy winced as the words left his mouth. _Why did you just tell Murphy about your girl problems?_ Surely he'll say something along the lines of _"I don't care, Bellamy."_ or _"Suck it up, cupcake."_

Murphy was silent for a few seconds before his voice dropped.

"We both know it's not your fight with Harper that's got you all messed up."

Before he could give a witty reply Murphy abruptly ended the call, leaving Bellamy staring at his phone as if it had just shocked him. _How many people thought that there was something going on between Clarke and him?_ Shaking his head as if it would clear his mind. Quickly he pulled himself from the bed and grabbed a hoodie out of his closet.

With no idea of knowing exactly how intoxicated Clarke was he decided to drive in case she couldn't make the walk home. As quickly as possible while still being safe, he drove to Arcadia pulling up right to the front door and jumping out of the car, practically running inside. As he pulled the door to the bar open he spotted her blonde head immediately, but that's not all he saw.

An older, dark haired man sat on the stool next to her his arm wrapped around Clarke as she swayed back and forth, whether to the music or because she was so drunk he couldn't tell. Bellamy felt anger swell up inside of him as he stormed forward yanking the man's arm from her body, Clarke in response whipped her head around looking up at him with eyes that seemed incapable of focusing on any one thing. Bellamy placed his hand on her cheek, stroking his thumb across it slowly.

"What are you doing, princess?" he whispered.

"Hey man, who the hell are you?" an unfamiliar voice rang in his ear. Remembering there was a third person involved Bellamy turned his focus to the man.

"I'm Bellamy Blake, her best friend. Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am, listen she already has a ride home so there's no need for you. You can run along now." The man said resting his hand on Clarke's thigh.

Bellamy let out a loud chuckle, pulling attention from the other bar goers. "I think you'd better remove your hand from her thigh before things get ugly."

The man instead, squeezed her thigh before pushing it higher up her body and after that moment everything was a blur, when he became focused again the man was on the ground and Clarke was grabbing Bellamy's arm telling him they needed to leave, and _now._ Murphy's voice brought him back completely as he pushed them towards the door.

"Don't worry, I'll tell the cops it was some random but I assure you they are on the way."

Bell gave a quick nod before taking Clarke's hand in his and leading her through the door. As the chill of the night air bit into Bellamy's skin he turned to see Clarke in the same shorts and tank top she left in, remembering his hoodie he quickly moved to the passenger seat of his car grabbing the hoodie and handing it to her, receiving a grateful nod in return.

They stood for a moment looking at each other before Bellamy moved, waving his hand towards the passenger seat. With a small sigh she sat down allowing him to shut the door. Moving quickly to the driver's side, he put the car in drive and took off. The silence that followed was comfortable, and at least for a little while Bellamy had forgotten about everything that happened, and that it needed to be talked about.

Clarke was the one to break the silence.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Bellamy felt his eyebrows shoot up and he glanced over at Clarke as they pulled up to a red stop light.

"Harper? No. We talked after you left and that's why I didn't come after you right away. I felt bad after she found us this morning."

"But you said no to the whole cheating on her accusation, when you did in fact kiss me. I don't know what you consider cheating, but I think that qualified. I mean imagine how far that could have gone if she hadn't-" Clarke closed her lips together tightly staring out of the window.

"I was saying no I wasn't cheating because cheating on someone means you're in a relationship and she and I aren't. I told her I wasn't looking for anything when this all started. Finally I got her to calm down and I apologized and surprisingly so did she."

Clarke finally looked at him and her eyes were blue and focused, sober. "Why would she apologize?"

Bellamy let out a long sigh.

"Something along the lines of, "sorry I caused problems between Clarke and you, everyone knows what you guys mean to each other, I shouldn't have ever gotten in the way, blah blah blah."

" _Everyone knows what we mean to each other_? What is she talking about? What do I mean to you Bell?" Bellamy noted the way she whispered the last question, how her breath hitched at the end.

"You're my best friend, and my sister's best friend.. You're practically family."

The look of pain that flashed across her face would have been missed by anyone but him, he felt his heart contract and ached to reach out and feel her skin. _What did I say wrong? Isn't that what she wanted? Why else had she stormed out after he kissed if not because she thought it was a mistake._

"Take me back to my apartment please, Bell." She said quietly as she stared out the window.

* * *

Bellamy groaned at the loud banging coming from his front door, dragging himself off the couch he walked over to the door swinging it open wincing as the sun poured in.

"Bellamy, it's been 2 weeks since you worked a shift at Arcadia. Kane said if you don't work tonight you will no longer have a job."

"I don't care, Nathan." He replied returning to his spot on the couch.

"Everyone's going to be there tonight, including _Clarke._ "

"Why would I care about Clarke being there? That doesn't change me not wanting to go."

"You know it does, don't try and put up a front with me Bellamy Blake. I know you." And with that, he was gone.

Two hours later Bellamy found himself standing behind the wooden bar his eyes stuck on the front door, the anticipation of waiting for her to walk in was killing him. It had been two weeks since they'd last talked.

They'd pulled up to her apartment and Bellamy jumped out of his car to walk her to her door and she simply shook her head, telling him to go home and get some sleep.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bell." But that didn't happen, nor the next..or the next. If Octavia hadn't uploaded several pictures on Instagram with her, he'd of been extremely worried something bad happened to her.

Around 11 the bar started to fill up and he spotted Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Jasper, and lastly Clarke walk in. Usually she'd head straight to the bar and start complaining about how disgustingly in love Octavia and Lincoln are. Instead a tall redheaded woman walked over ordering a martini. Bellamy nodded and began making the drink, handing it to the lady and collecting the money. When he'd looked up from counting the money she was in front of him now, with anxiety filled blue eyes.

"Hi." She barely whispered, he felt his knees grow weak.

"What can I make for you tonight?" he replied as he pulled a cup from behind the bar placing it in front of him.

"I was actually hoping we could talk instead."

"Oh now you want to talk, princess? You're going to have to get in line. A lot of the women here tonight are waiting to talk to me." He said with grin.

In answer she gave a dramatic long roll of the eyes, causing him to chuckle. Walking to the side of the bar he pushed open the door that came up to his waist and ushered her inside, moving to the door that leads to the break room. As the door clicked behind her silence filled the room.

"Okay, you wanted to talk. So talk."

Clarke stood before him with her hands together in front of her, fidgeting.

"Well, I just wanted to say sorry I haven't called or texted, but then again neither have you so that's on both of us."

Bellamy felt a lump in his throat.

"I-Clarke. I didn't call or text because I blacked out after I saw that guy moving his hand all over your body. The next thing I knew I was standing over him and you were looking at me with those damn big blue eyes, and I thought maybe I hurt you, or I scared you and I couldn't live with myself if either of those things happened. I figured when you didn't seem physically hurt yet still didn't want me to walk you to your apartment-"

Clarke stepped forward taking his hand in hers and pushing his chin up until their eyes met.

"I could never be scared of you, Bell. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. I trust you with my life."

"Then why did you look so frightened?"

"I wasn't frightened, I was surprised. I knew you cared about me, but I didn't know how much until that night. I was worried also. Not for him, but for you. I didn't want you to spend the night in jail over something so dumb. It would have been my fault for running off and getting plastered and letting some creep almost take advantage of me."

Slowly Bellamy moved his hand to her cheek, brushing the fallen hair out of her face.

"I wouldn't mind going to jail for you, as long as it meant you called me your knight in shining armor." He replied cockily as he felt a grin spread across his face.

As she let out a genuine wholehearted laugh Octavia's words come back to him, realization setting in he took a big gulp. Clarke smacked his chest lightly before turning to walk out of the bar.

Before she was out the door he grabbed her hand, slowly turning towards him with her lips parted. The ache that washed over him, to feel them against his once more was unbearable. As he was about to speak she stepped forward and pulled his face down to hers, their lips crashing together.

Bellamy deepened the kiss and was rewarded with a small moan from her. When they'd finally pulled apart her lips were bright pink and swollen.

"Stay with me." He murmured.

"What do you mean?" she said, her eyes still on his lips.

"I mean, my shift is over in a few hours. Stay here and come home with me."

As their eyes met he felt so many emotions at once. _Relief, Happiness, Nervous,_ but mostly he felt love. An unbelievable amount of love, which would surely drown him.

"Okay." She breathed. "I just need to go get my purse out of Octavia's car."

He gave a small nod, and very suddenly felt shy. As she turned and walked out of the room he watched, taking in every part of her being.

Following behind her he approached a new customer in a hat pulled down close to his face and a black hoodie.

"What can I get yo-" he felt a familiar anger surge up inside him as he recognized his face. The man who was trying to take Clarke home.

"Listen before you get all angry and punch me in the face I need to tell you something. I was paid to track Clarke for a few days and strike up a conversation with her when the possibility presented itself. I don't ask my clients why they hire me, but this one worried me. The look in his eyes, it was like he wasn't all there you know, mentally."

Bellamy felt his heart beating in his chest, the sound drowning out everyone but the man's voice.

"When I met him I'd jumped into his car and I looked into the back seat, there was duct tape, and a crowbar."

Before he could finish his sentence Bellamy was running out of the Bar to the parking lot as quickly as he could, ignoring people shouting his name behind him. As he approached Octavia's car he saw that the passenger door was wide open and Clarke's purse had laid on the ground, but no sight of her.


	4. The Problem

Clarke was practically running to Octavia's car to retrieve her purse. Bellamy Blake had kissed her, _again_. His words replayed inside her mind over and over, _"Stay with me."_

As she reached down into the car to grab her purse she heard footsteps approaching behind her, thinking Bellamy had followed her, she turned with a smile on her face. Which quickly vanished as she took in the person before her.

"Clarke." He said, a smile on his face.

"What're you doing here, Finn?"

"Wow, straight to the point as always. It's been awhile and I was in town, I figured I'd come see you while I was here."

"What are you doing in Chicago?"

Finn smiled, almost shyly as he took a step forward. "I miss you, Clarke."

Clarke dropped her purse on the ground before jumping out of arms reach of him and beginning to run away. _Bellamy_ , her mind screamed. She'd only gotten a couple of yards when a pair of arms wrapped around her pulling her back.

"Shh, Clarke. I just want to talk to you, spend a little time together come on let's go to my car, have a chat and then you're free to go."

Clarke began shaking her head frantically, thrashing in his arms as she fought to free herself of his grip. Something hit her head, _hard_ , and then a hand was over her mouth. Panic began settling in as she felt consciousness slipping away from, and then she surrounded by darkness.

* * *

As she emerged from the seemingly never ending darkness she was met with a pair of dark brown eyes staring at her curiously.

"Well hi sleepy head. Thought you were never going to wake up."

Clarke fought tears as the memories of earlier began flooding her mind. The sick glint in his eye as he looked her up and down. Attempting to move her hands she finds that they are bound together behind her. Struggling to free her hands of them, she let out a hiss as it bit into her skin.

A loud vibrating sound caused her to jerk her head up, her eyes searching for the noise. Finn wore a small smile as he pulled a phone out of his pocket, and upon seeing the see through case with a small picture of Bellamy and her on the inside facing outwards she felt her heart jump. _Of course he has my phone._

"Bellamy Blake has been incessantly calling your phone, and I don't see him as the type to give up. So, the next time he calls, you're going to pick up and tell him you were feeling under the weather and went home alone."

" _Don't see him as the type to give up?_ You don't even know him, how dare you talk about him like you do."

Finn let out a loud laugh, before he gave her a patronizing look.

"You don't think you were the only one I had being followed, do you?"

Before Clarke had the chance to process the idea of being followed, the phone sounded again. Finn slowly moved closer towards her, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Clarke" Bellamy's voice was filled with panic and she ached to ease it.

"Hey. Sorry I didn't come in and say goodbye, I wasn't really feeling well and decided to go home. Shalom, Bell."

The memory of Bellamy and her sitting in a coffee shopping talking about absolutely ridiculous things. What they would do if the world ended? What celebrity would they marry tomorrow if asked? She imagined Bell and she had talked about everything under the sun. Including a word for each other to let them know they're in trouble. _Shalom._ _Please, remember Bell._

"You're at home?" The urgency in his voice gave Clarke hope that he'd caught on.

Looking around to her surprise, she was in fact in her apartment. _Stall Clarke, Bellamy knows. He knows and he's coming for you._

"Yes, don't worry I'm fine." She gulped as she heard the slight tremor in her voice.

Before Bellamy could say anymore, Finn hit the end call button.

"Best turn this off now, so we don't get any more interruptions, I want your full and undivided attention. So, Clarke. I talked to your mother, and we had an amazing conversation about you. Abby just couldn't believe how well you are doing in med school."

Clarke felt herself tense. "Did you tell her?"

"Tell her that what? You in fact dropped out of med school your freshmen year here and instead decided to major in fine arts?" he said mockingly.

Her silence made him let out a loud sigh.

"No, I didn't Clarke what kind of person do you think I am."

"A kidnapper for one." She practically spat in reply.

"Ah, but did I? I brought you to your apartment. Surely if I'd been kidnapping you, we'd be far away from here. I'd have the intent on keeping you, and I don't. At least not for long. See here's what I wanted to talk to you about Clarke."

Abruptly he stood up, pulling a small box from his pocket. Opening to box to reveal nothing inside.

"I want to make a promise to you, which is that I will do better than before. I will make better choices, and love you like you have never been loved before. I will never lie or cheat or any of the bullshit I pulled before. I promise one day this empty box will hold a ring, a big beautiful one that you deserve." He sucked in a breath, and the glint of hope in his eyes made Clarke feel sick.

"I will never, _ever_ love you Finn. I hate you for what you did, for what you're doing. Do you think you'll get away with this? You hit me and you dragged me off, and you forced me to tell my friends I was okay. Well jokes on you. They know, and they're coming. They're coming right now and you're not going to get away with this." She gasped as the words left her mouth.

As she watched for his reaction she felt her heart racing, as he stared at her with dark eyes, so dark they were practically black. In the blink of an eye Finn had drawn his hand back and swung forward full force, his hand sending a sharp pain through the entire right side of her face. Clarke wanted to cry, but all she could do was sit shocked. Finn slowly bent down so his face was a mere centimeters from her face.

"When you call the cops, they're not going to believe you. There is no trace of me ever leaving my university, I have so many alibi's they will think you're crazy. No one can keep you away from me, Clarke. I will always be around, I will always have eyes on you. You will learn to love me."

Without another word he turned walking out her front door, shutting it quietly behind him.

Finally, the tears came and they didn't seem to stop. Clarke imagined herself drowning in them. The pain on the back of her head becoming unbearable, her cheek stinging every time a tear dropped. Sobs wracked her whole body, and she was vaguely aware of 3 figures running into the apartment. Her eyes could barely focus on who ran forward.

 _Bellamy,_ she knew it was him from the feel of his arms, the arms that had comforted her and held her so many times. The arms she'd ached for, for so long.

"I'm here, Clarke." Bellamy whispered into her ear, a million times.

Finally she heard her own voice break through the silence. "Stay with me."

She felt his breath on her neck, and a small nod from his head. "I will, but can I bring you to the bathroom and check you out? There's dried blood and I have to make sure it's not serious."

Slowly she nodded, allowing him to put his arms underneath her, picking her up completely, carrying her into the bathroom and gently setting her down on the counter. They stayed silent as Bellamy set a wet cloth against the spot Finn had hit her the first time. Bellamy bent his face a few inches from hers, she felt herself flinch uncontrollably.

"S-sorry, it's not you Bell-"her words cut off as he set his fingers under her chin, pushing her head up until their eyes met.

"Hey, don't apologize. You've been through a lot tonight, but I would never hurt you."

"I know." She replied quickly, and received a small smile in return.

"I hate to say it, but whatever he hit you with broke through and the bleeding while is slow, isn't stopping. I think you need stiches." He said lowly.

She nodded taking his hand in hers, she got off the counter and walked out into the living room where Octavia paced anxiously and Lincoln sat with his head in his hands. Upon seeing her Octavia rushed forward, throwing her arms around Clarke.

"Ease up, O." Bellamy said quietly.

Octavia let go and pulled away, holding Clarke at arm's length looking her up and down.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Clarke. That little psycho is going to pay."

Clarke managed a small smile, too mentally tried to think of a response. Again, Bellamy talked for her, and she was immensely grateful for him.

"Listen, she's going to have to go to the hospital, can you drive us Lincoln?"

Lincoln simply nodded, and with that Bellamy slowly helped Clarke walk to the door, leading her to the car and pulling her tightly against him once they were inside.

* * *

 _Sorry to (if there is any) Finn fans. I didn't ever really like his character, and I wanted someone who'd been on the show to be the villain rather than an OC._


	5. The Declaration

_So, there are some possible triggers in the first part of this chapter, so read at your own risk. Enjoy!_

Bellamy hated hospitals. Despised them. Aurora had come home reeking of them every single night. 12 hours shifts, over and over. Octavia would scream and cry for her, but Bellamy was the one who consoled her. Bellamy was the one who raised her.

A soft knock on the door tore him from his own mind. Clarke was sleeping against him in the small hospital bed, which she insisted they shared. An older woman in a long white lab coat stepped in, giving him a small smile.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Fray. I'm sorry to do this, but I need to wake her up and ask a few questions."

Slowly Bellamy shook Clarke, who jumped awake her breath fast as she frantically looked around the room, her eyes calming as they landed on him. Bellamy felt the anger in his chest. _Damn him._

Dr. Fray introduced herself to Clarke.

"I have a few questions, perhaps you'd like to answer them privately." Fray said, glancing at Bellamy.

Without a moment's hesitation Clarke replied. "Whatever they are he can hear them, I don't mind."

He gave her hand a small squeeze, and she gave one back.

"Well, I'll get straight to it. Clarke, did he _do anything_ to you?"

"Obviously he hit me." She snapped. "Listen, these are things you already know, I want to talk to the Police, not a doctor. No offense."

"No, Clarke. I mean did he _rape you?"_

Bellamy felt himself tense, as the room around him began spinning. How could he have been so stupid? He didn't even ask. Surely she would have said something though.

"I don't know." Clarke whispered.

Shutting his eyes he felt his hands ball into fists at his sides. _I'm going to find you._ He repeated in his head, making it a mantra.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean I wasn't conscious the whole time. There's no telling what he did while I was knocked out."

Bellamy heard Clarke's voice crack at the end, instinctively he pulled her tighter against him.

"Okay, hun. We're going to need to do a full body examine, okay? Could you please step outside." The doctor said giving him a pointed look.

Instead of jumping up he looked at Clarke, waiting for her approval. Slowly she leaned forward planting a small kiss on his cheek before giving a small nod.

As he walked out, he went directly for the waiting room where all of their friends had gathered. Quickly he greeted Raven, Jasper, Murphy, Monty and Nathan. Before taking his place next to Lincoln.

"We've gotta find him, Lincoln. Whatever it takes."

Lincoln lifted his head, meeting his eyes and gave him a slow nod. Before returning to staring at the ground.

What felt like hours finally Dr. Fray walked out of Clarke's room, walking directly towards him. Bellamy was aware of how hard his heart was beating.

"Hi, Bellamy right? Clarke's asked me to send you back to the room, alone of course."

Bellamy gave a small nod and stood frozen in place as the doctor began walking away, quickly he ran to catch up with her.

"I-Uh. Did he-you know?" Bellamy heard the shakiness in his own voice.

The doctor gave a small shake of her head and he let out a long sigh as he felt relief flood his whole body. Without saying anything to his friends, he walked to Clarke's room.

Clarke had her hair sprawled out over the pillow and her eyes we shut, unmoving. Presuming she was sleeping he took a seat in the chair next to her. Feeling his eyes unable to move to anything other than her. Bellamy ached to be next to her, to feel her skin.

A small figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned to see Octavia sitting there smiling at him.

"Why are you smiling at a time like this?"

"Because, Bell. Clarke's okay and now you know. You have to tell her you're completely and totally in love with her. Life is so short and unpredictable, tonight just proved that. You have to tell her, and now."

Bellamy felt a small tug on his heart. "I think she already knows." He whispered as quietly as possible.

Octavia's eyebrows shot up in response.

"When she came over to the bar we went into the back room and, we kissed. O, I asked her to stay with me and come home with me. Not to do anything, just to have her next to me. Nothing would have made me happier and then that guy talked to me, and my world stopped when I pictured all of the horrible things that could have happened to her."

Octavia moved across the room, kneeling in front of him. "Tell her, Bell."

And as quickly as she'd walked over, she'd left.

Bellamy moved his eyes back to Clarke and was startled to find hers open, and alert. Staring so deeply into his he felt himself blush.

"Did you hear-"

Before he could say anymore she had sat up and then she was on him and she had pressed her lips to his so gently he couldn't tell if it had actually happened.

"I love you, Bellamy Blake." She whispered it over and over as she planted kisses on different parts of his face and he imagined he would never tire of those words from her mouth.

Pulling her tighter against him he began kissing back and soon they were wrapped around each other, their kisses desperate and hunger filled. Bellamy felt as if he was being broken apart and remade all at once, by her hand. Those small but strong hands that could beat the shit out of someone and paint something delicate and beautiful.

Before it could deepen anymore Bellamy pulled away, looking at her through hooded eyes.

"I want to, Clarke. _God, do I want to._ But it's been a long and crazy night and I want it to happen at the right time. Not on the chair of some random room in a hospital."

Clarke looked as if she was going to cry and he moved wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Hey what's wrong?"

Quickly she shook her head back and forth letting out a small laugh. "Nothing's wrong, Bell. Everything is perfect. I just wish I would have realized earlier that what I wanted and needed was right here in front of me the whole time."

Bellamy chuckled. "You and me both."

Eventually they'd both fallen asleep in the chair, with her on top of him. Wrapped around him. When he woke there was a dozen pair of eyes on him and he jumped, waking Clarke up. Bellamy wish he'd been able to watch her sleepy eyes blink in confusion when they were _alone_.

Octavia began jumping up and down yelling, while Jasper and Murphy gave him a sly smile and a thumbs up. Clarke stood up throwing a pillow from the bed at them before she too began laughing.

Dr. Fray emerged from the crowd and gave everyone a smile.

"Well, Clarke. It appears you are all set to go home, just need you to sign these release papers and then your friends can take you home."

"My _family._ " Clarke replied with a small smile as she took the papers quickly signing them.

Two hours later he walked into his living room and took in the sight of all of his friends. It'd been such a rough night for everyone, Bellamy decided to invite everyone over to his apartment for the night. Octavia and Lincoln were sitting in the love seat, cuddled together. Jasper, Monty, Nathan and Murphy were all laying on the floor, and Raven was in the recliner. Leaving him and Clarke to the couch.

Clarke had already sprawled out on it and grinned as Bellamy attempted to sit down but couldn't find enough space to. Setting the drinks he'd brought in he moved his fingers to her sides, tickling her. Clarke gave a small squeal in response and sat up.

"Ahh, sweet victory." He said with a grin.

Clarke gave him her best mad face before she broke out into a laugh. Without thinking he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers gently.

"I love you." He whispered.

And before Clarke could respond, as if on cue the room broke out into a chorus of _ooohs._

* * *

A bunch of happy people? Hmm. ;)


	6. Don't

Clarke stretched out blinking the sleep from her eyes, as she took in her surroundings. Bellamy rarely let anyone inside his room, let alone sleep in it. The occasional girls he'd brought home, but they never actually slept. That is except for Harper and even then Bellamy hadn't slept in the bed with her.

Slowly rolling over she was met with Bellamy's sleepy eyes gazing into hers.

"What's with the look, princess?"

"I'm unable to wrap my head around the fact that I'm here in your room, and that I slept with you. By you. That I love you, and you love me." She whispered.

Bellamy took in a sharp breath and then their lips collided, the kiss quickly deepened. Clarke was lost in him, and never wanted to be found again. But the world had different plans, because after a few seconds Octavia barged in jumping on the bed, squealing like a fan-girl.

"Lincoln kept telling me to wait, and that you guys were probably still sleeping but, I just can't believe this is real life-"

"You should have listened to Lincoln, please leave." Bellamy said with a small hint of annoyance.

"Sorry I'm happy for my best friend and brother, jeez Bell."

"That's not my point, just- Jesus O, can we get dressed?"

Octavia's eyebrows shot up before she rushed out of the room, shutting the door behind her. The second the door had shut, Bellamy pounced on Clarke pinning her hands above her head, pressing himself against her center, causing her lips to form a perfect O.

"Bellamy, all of our friends are 10 feet away from that door."

"We can be quiet." He murmured in her ear.

Clarke felt warmth spread to her cheeks and all throughout her body as he started down at her, his eyes dark and filled with hunger. She ached for him so badly, the warmth of his body was driving her crazy and she was so close to saying f it-and then his warmth was gone, so quickly it was as if it hadn't ever been there to begin with. Bellamy grinned down at her as he pulled on the T-shirt he had discarded last night.

"Common, Princess. You didn't think I'd actually fuck you with all of our friends here? There's no way you'd be able to be quiet." He said with a wink before opening his door, and disappearing through it.

Clarke let out a sigh of frustration before picking herself up off the bed and walking to the bathroom, wincing as she looked in the mirror. Her hair which was neatly in a bun last night had come loose and had hairs sticking out everywhere, her cheeks were flushed, _most likely from the events that just took place._ Surely she couldn't go out and talk to her friends looking like this, they'd grin and tease both her and Bell. Turning the faucet on she splashed cold water onto her face and quickly combed through her tangled hair before stepping out into the living room.

Bellamy sat on the couch a cup of coffee in one hand, and the newspaper in the other. Octavia sat beside him biting into a chocolate doughnut. Clarke felt, and heard her stomach growl loudly causing Bellamy to look up at her with a grin.

"Fresh donuts from the bakery in the kitchen, complimentary of Lincoln."

Clarke was in the middle of reaching for a mug when a pair of hands rested on her hips.

"You look really good in my clothes, I'm kind of jealous." Bellamy whispered into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

Clarke slowly turned, and then they were nose to nose. Time seemed to stop as they stood together, breathing each others air. Who would lean in first?

"I love you." He said huskily before gently pressing his lips against hers, he held onto her so tightly she didn't know if it was to keep her together, or to keep himself together. The answer was both were true.

A loud ahem pulled them apart and Lincoln looked at the floor, his posture awkward.

"Sorry, Um. Officer Jaha is here."

She felt her own body tense, and then Bellamy's fingers were intertwined with hers, giving her a small nod that said so many words. _I'm here. We'll find him. You're safe._

An hour later they had gotten nowhere in the search. Jaha insisted that there is no possible way Finn Collins could be in Chicago, he had alibies. But Clarke knew that, Finn had said that. There was no finding him, there was no stopping him. No end to this.

Bellamy hadn't left Clarke's side since Jaha had started questioning her, he was her strength throughout this. No matter how hard she tried she could not keep her eyes off of him, his brows furrowed and lines of worry all over his face.

"I'm not saying you're lying, Clarke. It's just, there's no proof. If what you've told us is in fact true, we suggest you lay low. Go out of town to visit your mother for a little while, she's been asking how you're doing and why you're not returning her calls. You are on spring break starting tomorrow, correct?"

Clarke simply nodded before leading Jaha to the door, and saying her goodbyes.

It was hard to believe she had once been close to Jaha, loved him even, like a second father. Clarke knew it was unfair for her to be angry with him, her father's death wasn't his fault. All cops know the risks they're taking every day.

"At last, we're alone." Bellamy's voice rang through the apartment.

Clarke could only just make out his figure through the tears that began welling up in her eyes. Two long strides and he was in front of her, pulling her into his arms.

"Hey, we're going to find him. You can stay here until they do, and even after if that makes you feel better.

She could only merely shake her head, as tears silently fell down her cheeks. It took a while but eventually she was able to stop the tears, and talk.

"Jaha was right."

"About what?" Bellamy looked at her apprehension.

"I need to leave, Bell. I'm putting you, and your sister and everyone I know and love in danger. Finn he's-he's crazy, if he was willing to kidnap someone he supposedly loves, there's no telling what he'd do to complete strangers. Especially you, if he saw us together he'd.."

Unable to finish her sentence she closed her eyes, not daring to look at him. It would surely break her.

"Don't, Clarke. Don't let him do this to us, don't let him win." He pleaded.

"He already has."

Quickly she walked past Bellamy, quietly shutting the door behind her before she took off running. The tears fell silently, and she found that quiet is often violent.


	7. Rock Bottom

_Props to the reader who got the Twenty One Pilots ref!_

Bellamy paced his room as his heart pounded loudly in his chest, _of course_ the nightmares were back. Clarke wasn't in his bed, the one person who eased them, was _gone_. It was hard to believe that just less than 24 hours ago she was in his bed, wrapped around him. Silently he cursed himself for having hope, that maybe someone would love him so much, it'd make him want to love himself too.

Every time he laid on his bed it all hit him again. Clarke closing her eyes, his mind screaming for her to just look at him, just once. Bellamy had no idea how long he'd stood staring at the door, waiting. Waiting for what? He knew she wasn't coming back.

Eventually Octavia had come in, a look of pity on her face that made Bellamy wanted to spit. Of course Clarke had already told her. Octavia moved towards him and he felt himself tense. _Please, don't hug me. I will break._ And he was right, the moment her arms created a cage around his body he let himself go. Bellamy had sworn he'd been at rock bottom before.

It was right after his mother died, and he was only 17, his sister 14. They had no distant relative to go live with, as far as they were concerned they didn't exist. After so much pain, he couldn't have Octavia taken for him. They would become the systems property, and no one wanted a rebellious teenage boy. So instead of attending their mother's funeral they'd fled, and they hadn't looked back since.

But this felt like a totally different rock bottom. When his mother died, he knew he still had Octavia to lean on. Someone who felt the loss just as he did. Now there was no one. No one made him feel the way Clarke did, and he didn't think it was likely anyone ever would, no one knew the pain inside of him.

"It was for the best, Bell. I know you're in pain, but I actually agree with Clarke. Finn's a psycho path and he wants her back, seeing her in love with someone else. Well he could become murderous. I won't lose you."

He'd laughed a bitter laugh. The one time he'd needed his sister the most, she was against him. Bellamy left her standing in the same spot Clarke had left him.

When did Bellamy Blake become the guy who got his heart broken and went to the place he works on his days off? When and why did he let himself fall in love? Not knowing he'd been talking aloud he was startled when a familiar voice responded.

"Son, you don't let yourself fall in love. It just happens."

For a slight moment Bellamy felt his lips twitch up in a smile as he turned around, pulling the man before him into a tight embrace.

"Kane, what's with the surprise visit?" He breathed.

"Well, Clarke called Abigail in some distress and I figured I'd let them have a girls weekend to catch up and I'd come visit the college, and you and Octavia, see how you're doing and well from the looks of it, not too good."

Bellamy felt a slight stab in the stomach. Kane had been the only father figure he'd ever known. When he and Octavia had left their old life behind they had 100 dollars in cash and a train ticket to Chicago, by mere possibility they'd bumped into Kane. They made small talk, and it was easy to tell that they were both underage and on the run. Kane never asked questions, only helped and when Bellamy was finally ready to talk, he was ready to listen.

Kane had been a guidance counselor at the college, widowed and no kids. He took them in and treated them as though they were his own flesh and blood, and he never asked for anything in return. Bellamy owed his life to him. Kane eventually began seeing someone and when it had took a serious turn, he'd introduced him to her.

Abigail Griffin, widowed doctor, one daughter. They'd just finished dinner when Kane pulled Bellamy and Octavia aside explaining that Abby's daughter Clarke would be a freshmen this year at the college along with O, and that it'd mean the world to him if they ever met her they'd help her if she needed it.

A week into school Bellamy had met Clarke, when Octavia brought her back to the house. He remembered being surprised at how different and so alike she was to her mother at the same time. Abigail was reserved, and a silent, but strong force. Clarke gave her opinion whenever she could, she made herself heard every chance she got. Like her mother, she was undeniably smart.

"So you're in love, with whom? If I may ask." Kane said, sliding onto the bar stool next to him.

"Clarke Griffin." His voice sounded surprisingly strong, and confident.

Kane gave a thoughtful nod. _He already knows, of course he does._

"How long has that been going on?"

"I tell myself not until recently, but I think I've loved her since our very first stupid argument."

Kane called out to an unfamiliar bartender. _Must be new._ Kane ordered a drink and then turned towards him, their knees brushing.

"This is a milestone in your life, Bellamy. You can do what you've always done, you can deny yourself the right that you so much deserve to be happy and sit here at this bar, getting plastered and then taking some girl whose name you do not know home, have mediocre sex and wake up with a hangover. Or you can order a glass of water, sober up and then I will drive you to Clarke, and you can spill your heart out to her and she could either reject you and you can leave and do exactly what you were doing, or she can say I love you too, and you can both be happy, _together."_

Bellamy had felt his heart begin picking up towards the ending, when Kane said she could say I love you too. Why were those words so hard to believe? That he could be loved, that he could be loved by _her._ The memory of her closing the door behind her, leaving him, floods his mind.

"When she walked out of my apartment today she made it perfectly clear, that she doesn't love me and we can't be happy together." He replied, before chugging down his beer and turning around, walking over to a girl in a tight red dress on the dance floor.

As much as he wanted, he couldn't bare to turn around and look at Kane's face. The disappointment that surely covered it would kill him. Approaching the girl, she looked up and gave him a knowing grin, which he returned.

* * *

Two hours later he let out a loud breath before rolling off of _Kat?_ In one swift move he'd stood up pulling his sweatpants on.

"Want me to walk you out?"

The girl gave him a look of disbelief and a small shake of her head.

"I forgive you for this, because the moment I saw you in the bar, I knew."

Bellamy looked at her as he felt guilt seep into his body. "Knew what?"

"That you have had your heart broken, and from the feel of it, it's the first time."

With no response coming to mind, Bellamy took a pen off the nightstand, ripping a piece of paper from his notebook, quickly jotting down his number.

"I'm sorry, I've had a rough day. Call me some time, we can go for a cup of coffee."

"I'm more of a tea kind of person, but I'll take you up on that."

Bellamy felt a twinge of pain in his chest. _Clarke is a tea person too._ When Bellamy had looked up again, the women he'd shared his bed with was gone. Letting out a loud sigh he fell back onto his bed staring up at the ceiling and finally accepted that _she_ would not be leaving his mind any time soon.

Not even in his dreams could he escape her. With her golden hair pulled into a messy bun, a pencil tucked behind her ear, her lips slightly parted as she sketched whilst sitting on his couch. Bellamy wished he would have known then how special those moments were. Clarke was in her most vulnerable state when she was lost in her drawing, and _god when she was, it was beautiful._


	8. Home

**So I had a reader who wasn't exactly happy with the last chapter, and while I am grateful for all feedback, negative or positive I felt maybe I could help explain my thinking. In the review it said Bellamy's actions were "Predictable, show case his lack of self respect and more importantly is disrespectful to Clarke." My thinking was, yes maybe Bellamy's decision to go home with the random girl was predictable, but only because the Bellamy I write is cannon to who he is or has been on the show, and has shown time and time again Bellamy is hard on himself, and has an extremely difficult time forgiving himself and all around loving himself and his decisions, so that is exactly what I wanted you to take from it, as regards to him disrespecting Clarke, the way I see it is, it's only himself he's trying to hurt/disrespect and has nothing to do with disrespecting her. Again thank you for the feedback and I'm sorry this fanfic isn't for you!  
**

Clarke took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Vanilla. It reminded her of home, and her childhood. _Of her father._

"Clarke, is that you?"

A small smile crept its way on to her face as her mom walked into the corridor, opening her arms wide. Clarke crashed into her mom, gripping onto her shirt as they hugged. The last memory she had of hugging her mom so tightly and desperately it had been the day of her father's funeral.

It was not always like this with her Mother. When her dadwas alive she had always felt a closeness with him that she hadn't with her mother. Jake understood her, and loved her unconditionally, and Abigail.. not so much.

"How are you, honey? I just made sandwich's I'm sure you're starving from the trip."

"It's a two hour drive, mom. I'll be okay, I just want to unpack and shower and sleep. I'll see you for breakfast?"

Abigail looked at her hesitantly. "I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow, I'll most likely be gone by the time you wake up, but you could come by before lunch?"

Clarke gave her a nod before moving up the stairs silently. Why did she feel an ache in her chest? Why did she hope that in the midst of everything her mother had somehow actually become a mom? Sure it was short notice, but she hadn't been home for over a year. They'd skyped here and there but that wasn't the same as really being here.

Sighing to herself she laid down after her warm shower, pulling her phone of the dresser she began dialing and before she hit the call button, she realized whose number she was dialing, and stopped herself. The ache she had felt earlier was nothing in comparison to how she felt now. Scrolling through her contacts she stopped as she almost swiped past a familiar name.

 _Wells._ God did she want to hear his voice, and all his advice. Though he was the same age as her, he was wiser than Clarke ever thought she'd be. Bellamy reminded her of Wells, in the way they protected the ones they loved. Octavia and Bellamy's relationship was much like Wells and hers. Fierce in their loyalty, protection and love.

Hitting the call button her heart began racing, even though _she knew_ , knew that no one would answer and his voicemail would pick up and she would hear his voice for all of 5 seconds. But she also knew that it would give her just enough strength to go on.

Jaha had once told Clarke he was going to shut the phone off.

"It's time to move on, Clarke. We've all grieved. It's not healthy to do that to yourself."

He'd talked to her as if she were Jasper, drinking herself to sleep every chance she got, but it wasn't like that. It was nice to hear his voice, so she took over the bill and she'd been paying it since.

"Hey, it's Wells. Uh, you know what to do."

And then a loud beep following. Slowly Clarke pulled the phone from her ear and hit the end call button before sprawling out on her bed, and fighting the tears that threatened to spill out onto her cheek. Cursing herself as one broke free, leaving a small trail behind it. Clarke had never been the type to cry, and lately it felt as if she cried over everything. It made her angry at herself and the world. It made her feel weak, and there was nothing she hated more than feeling weak. Looking out the window, the full moon shone brightly, spilling into her room.

 _Is Bellamy staring at the moon too? Has it been as difficult for him to get me off of his mind, as it has I, him?_

An alarm clock buzzed loudly next to her bed, causing her to wake with a jolt. Groaning as she pulled her legs from under the cover and swinging them over the bed, slamming her hand down on the off button. _Some things never change._

Abigail had set the alarm for 5:30am every day.

"You need approximately 20 minutes a day of work out, and I know high school gym is a load of bullshit. You need to be the very best you can be, that's all Clarke."

Clarke thought about staying in bed, but after the events of the few days she figured a jog couldn't hurt. Quickly changing into her yoga pants and pulling on a big t-shirt she headed down the steps, and went down the route she'd taken since she was 13, as if no time had passed.

It was almost unsettling how much was still the same. Mr. Duggar waved at her as he gave his wife a kiss goodbye and headed for his car. Ms. Bates walked her annoying Chihuahua that always yapped and tried to bite her ankles. A pit in her stomach attempted to swallow her whole as she approached a green house, with a familiar brunette tying her hair up into a tight pony tail. Clarke felt her insides stir as she got closer and took in her features.

"Oh, hey Clarke. I didn't know you were home."

"Hi Lexa. Just for the weekend, I needed a break from college life."

"I see, we'll have to catch up, but for now I need to run."

Without giving her a chance to reply, Lexa ran off in the opposite direction of her usual path that she and Clarke once shared. Slowly Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. At least somethings did change.

* * *

Sitting across from her mother she felt a lump in her throat. Clarke couldn't remember the last time she had looked so happy. Nothing was wrong in her life, Abigail had a wonderful relationship with Kane. Her daughter was in med school, everything was picture perfect. Which is what she'd always wanted. But she had to tell her, or the guilt would eat away at her. If she let her believe she was still doing well in school, Abigail's happiness would be based on a lie.

Putting her fork down, the words seem to spill from her mouth before her brain comprehended what was happening.

"I quit med school."

Abby's eyes widen and she choked on her water, which caused a coughing fit. It took several minutes for her mother to gain her composure.

"So what are you doing in Chicago still? Her voice sounded flat.

"I'm in Art School now."

The silence stretched out between them and Clarke wanted to scream. _Say something, anything._

"It's always something with you."

Clarke felt as if she had been struck and felt herself lean back in her chair, as she stared at her mother.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you were a good child up until Jake died, now you don't care about anyone but yourself. I mean, you break up with Finn who is a good kid and has a lot going for him, then you move to Chicago without a goodbye, you barely visit and now you've dropped out of school? And for what, to pursue some unrealistic dream? Well I have one question for you Clarke, are you on drugs?"

 _Numb._ Numb was the only word she could use to describe how she was feeling as she stood up, quickly walking away. As she got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot she realized she had no idea where she was going.

 _Home, go home Clarke._ But when Clarke pictured home, she pictured Bellamy's strong, certain arms around her. Octavia's warm smile. Raven and Jasper, her broken friends who she vowed to help. Monty, and Miller and hell even John Murphy.

As she walked into her mom's house to grab all of her things, she stopped cold as she saw a figure standing there, waiting for her.

"Clarke. Your mother called and told me she was worried about you, she thought maybe I could help." Finn said, with an innocent smile.

Clarke quickly ran to the kitchen, pulling out the biggest kitchen knife she could manage to find in the amount of time it took Finn to follow. Clarke held the knife steady, and away from her own body. Silently she thanked Bellamy for teaching her self-defense mechanisms, and that unlike the last time she encountered Finn, didn't fail her.

"You need to leave, now." She spit at him.

"Don't worry, Clarke. This won't be like last time, I won't force you to go anywhere. In fact we can stay here, just like this until your mom gets home, then we all can have a nice calm chat. About us, about our future."

Finn crept towards her and she slashed forward at him, and heard him hiss between his teeth as he backed away. Clarke lifted her chin, and felt herself smirk in her triumph. Finn's lip snarled upwards and he was about to charge her when a hand landed on his shoulder, turning around in surprise Finn was met with a punch directly to the nose, so hard that it knocked him to the ground.

Clarke looked at him on the ground, and finally up at who had walked in.

" _Bellamy."_ She was able to just barely whisper before Bellamy was on her, and around her, his arms creating a warm safe haven she never wanted to leave.

Kane walked in behind Bellamy, with Jaha and an unfamiliar officer at his side, who rushed forward putting handcuffs around Finn's wrists.

Clarke looked at Bellamy questioningly.

"I'll answer all your questions, just please. Can we go home?"

Clarke nodded as she laced her fingers with Bellamy's and left Finn as he was handcuffed on the floor of her childhood home.


	9. Finally

Bellamy walks into his living room with two mugs in hand, one filled with tea for Clarke, and the other filled with coffee for himself. As he settles down on the couch he rests his hand on her leg giving it a small squeeze.

"I'm glad you're okay."

"As am I, but I totally had it handled." She replied cockily, Bellamy looked towards her and was met with the most beautiful of smiles.

"On a serious note though, how did you know he was going to be there?"

"I guess I should start from the beginning."

Bellamy had woke as his dreams of Clarke went from colorful and warm, to darkness and cold. Leaning over he looked at the clock on his night stand that read 8:30am, instead of attempting to fall back asleep Bellamy took quick shower and began getting dressed when the familiar smell of pancakes filled the apartment. A small glimmer of hope passed through his body that it was _her_ , but quickly vanished.

 _Stop hoping she's going to come back and everything will be fine. Your actions last night further proved why that shouldn't and won't happen. You could never love her the way she deserves to be loved._

Walking out to the kitchen he was surprised to find Octavia and Kane side by side. O gave him a bright smile as Kane flipped a pancake beside her.

"Good morning, everyone." Bellamy said as he moved to the cabinet pulling a mug down, pouring fresh coffee into it.

Kane turned around and gave him a small nod, before turning back to the stove pouring more pancakes mix into the pan.

"Octavia let me in, I wanted to have a nice family breakfast. Just the three of us, it's been awhile."

Bellamy smiled to himself. It had been awhile and it was exactly what he needed at a time like this. _Why were you so stubborn last night? Why did you bring a girl you do not and could not love home?_

Moving to the dining room table he sat down and picked up the newspaper and began reading. Not long after Octavia set down a plate in front of him, before settling down in her own chair with a plate stacked with pancakes.

As Bellamy took the first bite he let out a sigh, receiving a smile from Kane in return. They talked about a lot. Well Octavia and Kane talked about a lot, Bellamy enjoyed just being there with them, and he didn't want to talk about the recent events of his life.

"Lincoln is great, you're going to love him." Octavia beamed as she talked.

"I already do, if he's got you this happy. And he's still alive which means Bellamy has to somewhat approve of him."

Bellamy gave a small chuckle. Octavia finished her breakfast and dismissed herself to get ready for school. That's when Kane had turned to Bellamy.

"How is Clarke?" Bellamy asked abruptly.

Bellamy had been wanting to ask since the beginning of breakfast but didn't want to interrupt his sister.

"I was hoping you could tell me. Abby's been in contact with Clarke's ex-boyfriend Finn and he said he's really worried-"

"What? Finn? Kane we have to go _now_."

Kane looked at him in questioningly, but Bellamy was already up and walking towards the front door. Kane reluctantly followed.

"Bellamy, can you explain what's going on?"

"To summarize, Finn is a psycho path stalker. I mean just last week he basically kidnapped Clarke. We reported him to the police but I guess he has friends in high places, and alibies. No real evidence that he was really here."

Kane began puzzling things together, as he pulled the keys from his pockets, practically running out the front door, Bellamy followed.

"Kane, what if she doesn't have 2 hours."

"We don't even know if he's there, but I have an idea."

10 minutes later Jaha Wells was at Bellamy's apartment with his cop car, quickly Kane and he climbed in. Jaha did not seem happy.

"What is it that you've got me bending rules for exactly?"

"Please, just get us to Sycamore as fast as you can."

Jaha sighed before he pressed down on the gas, and flicked a switch that turned the lights on the top of his car on.

On the rest of the ride their, Bellamy and Kane talked about Finn.

"He's been in constant contact with Abby, telling her Clarke is calling him all hours of the night. That when she does, she doesn't make any sense. He told her he think it might be drugs."

It was almost hard to comprehend just exactly how crazy Finn really was.

Ten minutes away from Abby's home, Kane got a call from Abby. She sounded frantic and was sniffling.

"Kane, Finn called he said Clarke called after she came to see me for lunch, that she was upset and talking about harming herself. I'm headed out to Chicago as fast as I can, he said that's where she's headed."

Bellamy felt himself go cold all over. _Not again, not again.._

Jaha pushed down on the gas pedal and flipped another switch that sounded the alarm of his car, picking up his radio he requested local police back up at Abby's address. The moment they were in front of Abby's house, Bellamy jumped out. Ignoring Jaha and Kane yelling, for him to stay back.

As he walked towards the door he saw it was slightly open, and his stomach dropped. As he crept into the house he looked around, trying to cause the least amount of noise possible. A voice in the kitchen caught his attention and before he knew it, he was there. Finn was before him and he was getting closer to Clarke. Blood dripped on the floor, and Bellamy didn't know whose it was, Finn's or Clarke.

Moving his hand to Finn's shoulder, Finn looked back surprised and had no time to say anything before Bellamy swung his fist forward, sending him to the ground.

Clarke stood before him now, a kitchen knife in her hand. _God did she look beautiful, and strong. So strong._

Unable to help himself he moved forward and put his arms around her. Moments later, Kane, Jaha and a local police officer walked in. As they cuffed Finn, he felt relief. _Finally._

* * *

As he looked up Clarke stared at the floor, she seemed to be taking in everything he had just told her. Instinctively he reached out, putting his hand on hers. It seemingly pulled her from her thoughts and she intertwined her fingers with his.

"I was selfish, Clarke. I was hurt and so instead of just going after you and telling you how I feel and that Finn isn't going to scare me away, I went and I slept with someone. I didn't think about your safety, and that is exactly why I don't deserve you."

Clarke put her finger up to his lips, and gave a small shake of her head.

"Bellamy, we will get through this. I chose to leave, it's not your responsibility to run after me when I'm choosing to leave. I don't think I would feel the way I do now, if you had come after me right away. I needed time, to realize things and I see them clearly now. I love you."

"I love you." He replied, wholeheartedly.

"Then can we let that be enough for the day, can we just be together for the day?"

Bellamy nodded and pulled her against him, running his fingers through her golden hair as she settled against him.


	10. Ready

**Sorry this is so late guys! I haven't had a major writers block, but I'm back. Enjoy!**

A soft knock on the door pulls Clarke out of her sleep, slowly blinking as she looks around the room taking in the familiar walls of Octavia's room. A small smile forms on her lips as she remembers falling asleep on the coach, wrapped around Bellamy. _He must have carried me in here_. But those weren't the only memories that flooded through, everything that occurred in the past few weeks began caving in around her.

Another knock, only louder this time.

"Come in." she yells lazily.

Octavia slowly pushes the door open a grin on her face before running forward and embracing Clarke.

"Bellamy already filled me in on everything, I'm so glad you're home Clarke."

A wave of affection came over her as Octavia said the words home, and relief as well that she was welcome back so easily, even after storming out. Octavia lightly squeezed Clarke's arm.

"He also told me what he did, and I want you to know that if you need a friend to talk to, I can be just that. Without you worrying you're talking to protective sister Octavia."

Clarke pulled Octavia back into a tight hug and without warning the tears began, and they felt as if they were never going to end. Clarke was mad at Bellamy for sleeping with someone, sure they weren't dating when it had happened, but it still hurt.

Anger filled her entire being when she thought of Finn. It wasn't his fault Bellamy had slept with someone else. Those were Bellamy's own choices and his alone. However she could be mad at Finn for all the stress and fear that put a strain on her life and her relationships.

But what really hurt the most was the things her own mother had said to her.

As Octavia pulled away she looked at Clarke's face and immediately pulled her back into a hug, moving one of her hands to her back slowly rubbing it. Clarke pulled back as she felt something hard digging into her back and pulled Octavia's hand towards her to inspect, sucking in a large breath as she took in a beautiful, yet simple diamond ring. Looking back up at O, she gave her a small nod and her sadness was forgotten as they jumped up and down, clinging to each other.

The day Octavia _officially_ met Lincoln seemed like just yesterday. Clarke and Octavia were sitting on the patio of the local coffee shop, enjoying iced coffee and the warm breeze when Lincoln had hurriedly walking into the coffee shop, tying an apron around his waist and going behind the counter. Clarke had looked over at Octavia who was staring at Lincoln.

"You're doing it again." She teased.

"Doing what?" Octavia said innocently.

"Staring at that cute barista. I know that's why this is where you always choose to come. You should talk to him, for once." Clarke grinned.

The familiar determined face was plastered across Octavia's face as she got up, straightening her hoodie and walking into the shop.

Now she looked at Octavia and saw so much more, then she had only known her a few months. Now it had been years of being with her almost every single day, Octavia was her best friend and her heart swelled with joy for her.

"Does Bellamy already know?"

Octavia nodded, her smile contagious.

"And Kane. Actually there's something I need to tell you. They're having an engagement party at _their_ house next weekend."

Clarke felt her heart rate pick up. _Their house. Kane and her mother's._

"I understand if you can't go, Clarke."

Shaking her head quickly she pulled Octavia into another tight embrace. "Of course I'm going to be there, O."

A week had come and gone. Clarke stood looking at herself in the mirror, admiring her dress. A light green dress that complimented her golden curls, and clung to her body in all the right places, stopping a few inches above her knees. Moving to her closet she pulled out her black leather jacket, shrugging it before exiting her room.

Raven stood before her in a red strapless jumpsuit, her hair pulled back in a slick ponytail.

"You look beautiful." Clarke said.

Raven gave a shy smile, when out of the corner of her eye she saw someone come out of Raven's room. Jasper gave her an awkward smile as he pulled on a suit jacket straightening his tie.

"Do I look beautiful too?" he said with a smirk.

Clarke and Raven both laughed. Jasper extended his arms out from his body in the direction of them and with smiles they linked their arms with his.

As they approached the front door to her mother's house, Clarke felt her heart begin pounding in her chest. Raven took the lead, opening the door and stepping inside first, Clarke let out a breath, silently thanking Raven in her mind for going in first. Jasper moving right after her, Clarke wanted to follow them in, but she _couldn't_. In unison they both turned back towards her with furrowed brows.

"I just need a minute, go ahead."

Raven went to move towards her but Jasper gave Raven a shake of his head as he lightly rested his hand on her shoulder, before sliding it down her arm, interlocking their fingers together before they both walked through the threshold.

As Clarke watched her friends, no. _Her family,_ walking inside she smiled to herself. If anyone deserved a little bit of happiness in their lives, it was certainly Raven and Jasper.

Clarke found herself turning around to walk away from her mother's house, when she bumped into someone's shoulder. She heard his voice before she could look up and apologize.

"Clarke." He breathed.

As she looked up, she found herself biting down on her lip. _God, why do you have to look so good?_

"Hi, Bell."

She noted his eyes soften at his nickname. _Please, step towards me. Take the past few weeks away._ But he couldn't.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he stepped in her direction.

"I want to forget that you slept with her, but I-I can't."

Bellamy took a step back, and she immediately missed the warmth that radiated off of him. Their eyes met again, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him against her.

"I know. I know last night was an exception, because you just needed someone. I get it, Clarke."

She closed her eyes letting out a long sigh.

"I didn't need just anyone, Bellamy. I needed _you."_

"And do you still need me?"

Clarke simply nodded. Bellamy nodded taking her hand in his, slowly leading her to the door pausing as they reached it.

"Ready?"

Clarke looked at him once more, at the man she loved. Who at this moment she was so thankful for. Without him she couldn't face the reality of what was inside. _The broken pieces of her and her mother's relationship._

"When I'm with you, I'm ready for _almost_ anything."


	11. Light

It had been a week. _A week since he'd last heard her voice, looked into her blue eyes._ He was going utterly insane. A text would have help, at the very least. Just to know she was alright, after everything. Between himself, Finn and her mother she'd been through so much. _But she's so strong, I know she'll get through this._

Guilt was eating him up every time he thought about the night he sat at the bar. Kane had tried to talk some sense into him, but he did what he always did. Chose wrong and others suffered.

"Bell, just give her time."

Bellamy jumped at his sister's voice.

"I didn't hear you come in."

Octavia stepped forward tapping her finger against the side of his head.

"Yeah, because you're deep inside here. You have been since she left."

Sighing to himself he took a gulp of his coffee, and attempted to read the paper in front of him. Five minutes later he let out a frustrated huff and set the paper down.

"You're going to see her tonight, chill."

Bellamy felt his stomach stir. _Yes, I will see her. What I'm worried about is she won't want to see me._

"And if she wants nothing to do with me?"

Octavia shook her head and gave him a scowl. "Do you really _not_ know Clarke? If she wanted nothing to do with you, the night we got her back home she wouldn't have stayed with you, she would have went to her own apartment. She wouldn't give you false hope."

Bellamy immediately felt regret for even thinking she'd do that. _What is wrong with you?_ He'd never doubted Clarke before. Always trusted her, since the day Octavia brought her over. Something in her eyes, he just _knew,_ that she wouldn't ever hurt his sister, and at the time that was all that mattered to him.

"I can't believe you're engaged."

Octavia's face lit up.

"I can't believe you gave him your blessing."

Bellamy shrugged. "He's a good guy, who keeps you safe and treats you right. I couldn't ask for better, especially this day in age."

"Speaking of, I can't keep a good guy waiting. I really need to get ready for tonight, I'll see you at Kane and Abby's."

A small kiss on his cheek, and then she was gone.

A sudden realization hit, as he sat at the kitchen table of his apartment, in complete silence. Octavia would surely be moving out now that Lincoln was her husband to be. For once he was saddened at the thought of being alone, and ached for what? _For her._

* * *

Looking down at his phone he read the time. _Perfect._ Enough time to get a new suit jacket, and shirt.

Bellamy drove around the block of Kane and Abby's house multiple times before he worked up the courage to finally park and get out of his car. As he approached the front door he was looking down at his black button up shirt, and straightening his suit jacket when he bumped into someone. He just barely caught a glimpse of her golden hair, and he knew it was her.

An hour later he sat with a glass of water in one hand, and watched Clarke as she made her way around the room, saying hello to all of their friends. If he hadn't known Clarke he wouldn't have noticed her smile didn't travel to her eyes.

Kane approached Bellamy, sitting down next to him with a sigh.

"I'm out of my element here, dinner parties are not my thing."

Kane let out a soft chuckle and nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, guess all my social skills went to your sister."

Bellamy scanned the room looking for her, and found her talking with Abby in a hushed voice, a serious expression.

"Excuse me." He said to Kane as he stood up, searching the crowd for Clarke.

It only took a few seconds before he found her standing alone in the kitchen, a cup of champagne in her hand. When she looked up she gave him a small smile.

"I'm guessing you saw her already."

Clarke closed her eyes, giving a small nod of her head. In a few quick strides he was sat her side, and he was relieved she didn't flinch as he put his hand on her shoulder. Admiration as well, after all she'd been through and she wasn't the slightest bit jumpy? _Maybe because it's you._ The thought warmed his heart, and for a second he let himself believe such a thing was true. _Why shouldn't he? She loved him. She'd said it so many times._

"I'm here." He whispered into her ear before he planted a small kiss on her head.

She took a deep breath and this time when she smiled, it was also in her eyes.

"I'm going to go talk to her."

And then it was just him in the kitchen, missing the warmth that she always gave him.

He turned as he heard someone walk into the room, and was surprised when Lincoln stepped in, running a hand over his face.

"You okay man?"

"Do you ever wonder if you're good enough?"

Bellamy didn't have to think twice about it. That question ran through his mind every day. Every time Octavia told him he was an amazing brother. Every time he was with his friends. But mostly he asked it when he was with Clarke.

Bellamy gave him a nod. "All the time, but I have the answer for you. You are, Lincoln. You've been wonderful to my sister, and all of our friends. Our family, is your family."

The tension in Lincoln's body seemed to leave all at once, as he reached his hand out towards Bellamy, who took it and gave it a firm shake.

Years ago he would have never thought this would be possible, that he could care and love so many people. _That so many people could care and love him right back._ Octavia and Lincoln's engagement couldn't have been better timed. Everyone needed some kind of light in their life, especially after all the recent events.

Moving towards the big window that gave an amazing view of the sun setting, he looked towards the sky and for the first time in a long time he allowed himself to think of his mother. _Would she be proud of us? Did she want us to have a new family, out of not blood but choice?_

His mother was a complicated woman, but he felt that this is something she would have wanted, if not for him than for Octavia.


	12. Officially

**Sorry this chapter is so short guys! Major writers block lately, the next chapter will be longer! xx**

Clarke stood a foot away from her mother taking in her face, as the setting sun hit it in a way that enhanced all of her features, and gave her a glow that looked so youthful. Abby was looking up at Kane with such love in her eyes. Clarke found herself wondering if that's how she looked at Bellamy.

"Mom." She breathed out.

Abby's eyes widened as she turned towards her, her lips in a thin line.

"Clarke." She replied.

"Can we talk?"

As Abby shut the door to her office behind her Clarke took in a deep inhale. Sometimes she swore she could smell her dad's old cologne.

"I'm tired of losing people." Clarke said, as she turned towards her mother.

"You're not losing me, Clarke."

Her voice sounded sincere.

"I already have.. You can't take back what you said, mom."

Abby let out a long sigh before walking towards her. When their eyes met Clarke noted the tears that welled up in her mothers.

"I wish I could take those things I said back. I was so frustrated Clarke, even before your father died our relationship felt somewhat strained. I didn't get you and your father. Enough excuses though. I'm so sorry, Clarke. I love you exactly the way you are."

Clarke thought about not forgiveness, or her mother but her father. His kind blue eyes, and how she knew exactly what he was thinking whenever she looked into them. Clarke knew he'd tell her to ease up, and that her mother is trying her best.

Letting out a sigh she turned to Abby.

"I love you, and I want to forgive you but this will take time."

Abby nodded, and a small smile formed on her lips. "That's all I'm asking for, time to fix this."

* * *

As she rejoined her friends Bellamy had stepped forward with a glass of champagne in his hand, lightly tapping it with a butter knife. Their eyes met momentarily and she felt a familiar flutter in her chest.

Finally everyone had quieted and turned their attention to Bellamy.

"I'm not very good at speeches and I don't want to take too much time away from my little sister and her husband to be, so I'll keep this short."

Bellamy turned to Octavia and Lincoln.

"I'd like you thank you, Lincoln. For finally taking my pain in the ass sister off my hands."

Clarke chuckled lightly.

"But, on a serious note I would like to actually thank you, for taking care of her. For making her happy. You're all I had always hoped for, for her."

Lincoln raised his glass in the air and gave him a nod.

"And you, my not so little sister. It feels like just yesterday you were an introverted fifteen year old, and now you're an outgoing, ambitious, incredible young woman. I love you, and I'm so truly happy for you, O. Now that's the end of my cliché speech."

Everyone clapped and Clarke grinned as he walked his way towards her.

"You almost made me cry."

"You're a terrible liar, Princess. How bad was it?"

Clarke shook her head, moving her hand to his giving it a light squeeze. "It was perfect, Bell."

Bellamy's face lightened up and his lips parted slightly as he looked down at her. In the moment her urges to kiss him became overwhelming, cutting off any other reply Clarke moved her hand to his neck pulling her towards him until his lips brushed against hers, they stood a few moments breathing the same air in.

Jasper's voice was quiet compared to the beating of her heart, but she could make out his words.

"Just kiss already."

And they did. They kissed deeply, and intensely. Clarke never wanted it to end, never wanted this feeling to escape her.

As they pulled away Clarke felt warmth flow through out her body, as she looked around and saw her friends staring at them with smirks.

Bellamy moved his lips to Clarke's ear.

"You seem to be in a better mood."

She nodded and glanced over at her mother, his gaze quickly following hers. He gave a small nod and pulled her into a hug. His embrace was familiar, and comforting.

Clarke pulled herself from his arms and brought his hand to hers, interlocking their fingers. Looking up into his eyes made her heart skip a beat.

"I told my mom I was tired of losing people, and I am. Which is true, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to keep playing the will they? Won't they? So, I'm ready when you are. Say the word, and I'm yours. _Officially._ "

Bellamy took in a sharp breath, his fingers tightening around hers.

"You are sure? Even after what I did?

"I forgave you, Bell. I am sure."

Bellamy let out a breath and pulled her tightly against him. Clarke eased into him, and felt her stress shedding away, piece by piece. These were the only arms where she found comfort, the only ones she wanted to find comfort in.


	13. Us

**NSFW Smut guys, enjoy!**

Bellamy felt warmth in his cheeks as he walked hand in hand with Clarke towards his apartment, sneaking quick glances at her from the corner of his eye. His heart beat loudly in his chest as they neared the door, taking his keys out and fumbling with them. _Get it together, Bellamy. You know her, and it's not like this is the first time she's going to be staying the night._ But in a lot of ways, it was like her first time there. Her first time there while being _together_. _Clarke is my girlfriend._ The thought filled him with comfort, and warmth.

Finally he got the key in the lock and twisted it, pushing the door open and stepping aside allowing Clarke to enter.

"Ladies first."

Clarke grinned at him as she stepped through the threshold, letting out a giggle. That damn giggle made his heart skip a beat. Closing the door behind him, his face flushed red as he took in his messy living room. His clothes he was wearing prior to strewn across the couch and 2 beer empty beer bottles sat on his coffee table. Awkwardly clearing his throat he picked the clothes up, quickly taking them to the hamper in his room. Then disposing of the bottles.

"Sorry about that."

Clarke gave him another grin. "Oh please, if I care. Seeing your messy living room is oddly comforting."

"Well why didn't you say so princess? I could have added my current attire to the couches décor."

Clarke replied with a roll of her eyes before stepping into the kitchen, getting two wine glasses from the cabinet, opening a bottle of Strawberry Moscato and pouring each glass half way full, handing him one.

They moved there glasses together, a small chime filling the air.

"To Octavia and Lincoln, I guess." Bellamy said.

"To _us_." Clarke said shyly, a small smile playing on her lips.

Bellamy bit his lip at the word us.

"Us, I like that word." He said as he moved to her side, pulling her tightly against him, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

A few minutes later they were both changed into t-shirts and sweatpants, snuggled up on the couch each with their wine in their hands. The _Friends_ theme song began, and Bellamy felt himself grinning.

"Another Friends marathon?"

"Oh, yes." Clarke replied, settling into his side.

2 hours into their marathon Clarke moved to pour more wine into his glass.

"Ah, no thank you. I'm a nice warm buzz, I don't want to get drunk."

"And whys that?" she said looking at him, her blue eyes seeming to shine, compared to his plain living room. _It might be the alcohol, but it didn't make them any less beautiful to look at._

Bellamy felt himself gulp. "I just want to remember every single detail of tonight."

Clarke's face softened at his words. A shiver ran down his spine as her tongue swept across her lips, leaving them slick. Bellamy was about to close the distance, but Clarke was faster. Their lips collided and Bellamy felt light headed, and hungry, _so hungry,_ for more. Sliding his arms behind her back he pulled her onto his lap, setting her down gently. Her hands moved to his hair, pulling his head back as she deepened the kiss. His hips uncontrollably jerked upwards, causing a soft gasp to escape her lips, only to be lost in his mouth.

Seemingly reluctantly Clarke pulled away.

"Is Octavia coming home?" she asked, breathlessly.

Bellamy shook his head quickly. "No."

Clarke's eyes darkened.

"Take me to bed, Bellamy."

Bellamy felt his breath hitch, and in a quick motion he stood, his arms creating a cage around her. Clarke tightly wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her towards his room. As he laid her on his bed she quickly moved to slide her shirt up and off, revealing her bare chest. A growl ripped through him like nothing he'd ever heard before.

Clarke pulled his hands ever so slowly to her waist, giving him a small nod as his fingers began pushing under the waistband, moving the grey sweat pants down her legs. He grinned at site of her before him, her legs spread, a small damp spot on her pink panties. Her eyes traveled to where his now rested and her face became flushed.

Standing before her he slid his own shirt up and over his head discarding it immediately. Unbuttoning his pants he pushed them to the ground kicking them to the other side of the room before he moved placing himself above her, dipping down and planting kisses up and up her neck, before finally sucking her bottom lip into his mouth, biting down.

Clarke sighed into his mouth, wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling her against him. A groan escaped him as she ground herself against his now hard length.

"Bellamy, please." She begged.

He felt himself grin as he looked down at her. "What do you want, Princess?"

She let out a huff of frustration.

"You, I want you. _Now."_

He felt his lip twitch at her words and quickly pushed her panties off, then his boxers down his own body, moving his fingers to her slit he let out a growl of approval as her juices coated his fingers. Slowly he pressed his finger into her, a moan bursting through her, as she began working her hips towards his fingers.

"So desperate are we? Fucking yourself on to my fingers?" he murmured into her ear.

She only mewled in response.

Moving his fingers faster, pressing his thumb against her clit, she began shaking underneath him as she neared her release, and just before she went over the edge he buried himself inside her, savoring the feeling of her clenching around him. The image of her coming undone, for him, would forever be ingrained in his head. He began quickly pumping in and out of her, drawing out her orgasm. As she came down, his thrusts slowed.

When she could finally breathe he buried his face in her neck.

"I love you, Clarke." He breathed.

"You're mine." She replied, as his thrusts became desperate, desperate for release.

"I'm gonna cum." He called out as he slammed into her again and again, relentless.

"Together." She whispered against his skin as she clawed at his back, and so together they went over the edge for the first time.


End file.
